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5 word story THE AFTERMATH!


Ceridia
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I mounted up and rode down to the local village and saw a giant wood pile. I almost tripped over it and spied glint of gold coming from under the counter of the local ogre mages' delicatessen. Scents of cured ham wafted through the air no, wait, that's Vanin farting. He ate a whole pig and took off his pants to show off his belly which was very bloated from the keg he had drank which fell on his foot and cut off his toe so he tore it off And gave it to Arty and Arty prized it above that banana he'd been saving which he was going to give as a gift to Heliacon. But Heliacon was alergic to Arty's bad breath. So he tried to farm for breathmints But got camped by NA so he called in guildmates who got camped as well so they called the Palavalry which got camped even more so they went to Ironforge by shielding and hearthing like all cool pallies do and they met some gnomes so they punted them into a pack of Night Elves who were all dancing naked and as a result, injured. So then the Night Elves ran to get help from A giant pair of pants that belonged to General Drakk which began to cast the impending doom rank eight million so up went divine shield and down came the pants which got Vanin very excited Which enraged the night elves who promptly beat him with a 68 Pound Grouper that just swallowed a treant so it was really heavy with branches poking through it you know, typical NE fare. Vanin's reply was a prompt he raised his right arm and the stench left all of IF on the ground with their pants magically removed. giant bats stormed the gates yet the pantsless alliance managed to secure some pantsful defenses when Heliacon the Mighty emerged with his mighty wang and with his mighty wang and he slayed the beasts while of rogue/warlock hybrid called Shoop, the Harbinger of Mexicanos stared intently at heliacon's wang. which really was a gnome. So the Gnome, finally free jumped on his metal chocobo rode into the IF ditch and killed Heliacon with massive and did a gnome cheer, Kefka would be very happy, too bad he was dead, dead from the IF lag which never affects raiding horde because they are cheating h00rz without a lagpit in their city but they have a backdoor which doesn't help us any but it gets Vanin excited 'cause Van loves easy access but we won't go there meanwhile, back in Orgrimmar Heliacon pondered the dichothmy of Boat vs Triangle. He knew soon he would be asked what the REAL answer was too bad he'd already died his soul glitched to AV so he tried to run but was smote by Blizzard so he pleaded with a GM "Everything is working as Intended" and so he cried endlessly. until the light blessed him from the soul of Uther thus heliacon was born again to shield and hearth once more but something was different He was a Gnomish Paladin! so he summoned his Warhorse which was a Saint Bernard, a mechanical st bernard with dual exhaust and headlights and a little keg collar but it wasn't a horse! it surely wasn't a horse and so again Heliacon wept an hour for every macropoke From the shaman frostshocking him Ceridia's mom's improved frost shock to hold her men in place omglazergunspewpew ya thats one word, and then the thread died thanks to Teahnprime's lazer guns oh em gee kthx bbq.

 

FIN

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