Bite me! Don't bite me!

http://www.bash.org/?777977

 

<Anonymous> Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little slugs in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cuties that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.

<Anonymous> Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the freaking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprickle of blood on the little slug's teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cutie he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHoot! SHoot!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUdge! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! FUdge!.” By now, the kid is scared pantsless and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.

<Anonymous> Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Mam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m Freaking HIV POSITIVE.”

<Anonymous> And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fudged up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my stuff from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cutie she is.

<Anonymous> I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.

Edited July 28, 2007 by Noreaster

Please be mindful of the language used in copypastas.

Anyway, Anonymous is only an internet superhero, more likely a screeching coward in real life.

Anonymous actually let the thing get close enough to bite?

 

Hasn't anyone ever heard of mace? Sheesh...