All about CANADA!!

Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

 

 

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )

 

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

 

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )

 

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

 

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

 

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )

 

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

 

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )

 

A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.

 

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

 

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )

 

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

 

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

 

A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

 

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )

 

A: No, WE don't stink.

 

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

 

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Sweden )

 

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

 

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: Only at Thanksgiving.

 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

 

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

 

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )

 

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

 

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

 

A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

 

Please send this on to any Canadian (or others) who you think will enjoy it as much as I did.

Ok, what is Canadians fascination with wanting Americans to be naked???

 

Ok, what is Canadians fascination with wanting Americans to be naked???

Only the hot ones. Lindsey Vonn for example, can ride my hippo any time!

Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

 

Artyumi wants to answer them too!

 

 

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )

 

A. There is no such thing as Canadian TV. We can't afford to make our own shows up here. Americans just make low quality shows and brand them as Canadian made.

 

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )

 

A: That's where we get our Coca Cola from.

 

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

 

A: When you do, the sad theme from the old "The Incredible Hulk" series plays in the background. It's kinda creepy sometimes.

 

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )

 

A: The last time I did it I lost my bumginity to a beaver. You've been warned.

 

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )

 

A: Yes, just look for a Monopoly set.

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: It's nothing new. You can watch something similar by watching an American track and field competition. OH SNAP!!

 

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: Are you referring to metric North or imperial North?

 

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )

 

A: Only if I can bring chopsticks to England.

 

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )

 

A: No, WE don't stink.

 

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

 

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Sweden )

 

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

 

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: Yes and we don't procrastinate it like the Americans do.

 

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

 

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

 

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )

 

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

 

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

 

A: Yes, replace using the word "yo" at the end of a sentence with a period and you should be ok. If you feel tempted to make an eh? joke, ensure that you are wearing a flannel shirt first.

 

Artyumi wants to answer them too!

 

 

 

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )

 

A: It's nothing new. You can watch something similar by watching an American track and field competition. OH SNAP!!

 

Omg HAHAAHAHA I almost choked HAhaaha aahahaha LAWL

OK..

1. That didn't make any sense.

2. It wasn't even funny

3. Why the hell are you always busting on Americans?

 

OK..

1. That didn't make any sense.

2. It wasn't even funny

3. Why the hell are you always busting on Americans?

 

I don't get it either, so apparently being Canadian isn't a prerequisite.