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Revised Financial terminology


dragonlgnd

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Found this on a website I like to keep an eye on , Bankaholic.com.

 

CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 

CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.

 

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

 

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

 

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

 

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

 

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

 

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

 

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

 

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

 

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

 

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

 

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

 

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

 

 

I thought it was pretty funny.

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Well it is funny but also very true. I love it. PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use. :miner: LMAO

 

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