Funny little something

Wouldn't doubt if some of you have read this already, but I think its funny as hell

 

Not sure where its from originally but here it is... Oh sorry for the editing, its a copy paste.

 

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I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

 

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

 

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel

like it, I just want you to hold me."

 

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to

take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We

went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond

earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel

like it."

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

WHAT?"

 

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're

just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

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haha! thats great

hehe I got a chuckle

I'm going to remember this for future reference.

This is why I love living with a lesbian...I don't have to put up with the makeup, clothes, and shit that girls do, but they're cleaner than guys and you don't really mind as much if they have sex with a girlfriend on your bed...

would you call a girlfriend like that a loot whore?

 

hmm . . .

I read this earlier during class.

 

I got kicked out... I laughed too hard