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Alectrona

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About Alectrona

  • Rank
    Newbie
    Newbie
  • Birthday 03/16/1984

In-game Information

  • Race
    Gnome
  • Class
    Rogue

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  • Location
    New Jersey
  • Interests
    WoW, Writing
  1. I can't seem to connect properly with the link. I just get a page that tells me to sign up for MySpace, and won't allow me to read your post. Anyway you could email me the story instead?
  2. Thank you everyone for your comments and thoughts. Este you made a great point, and yes, i will take a lot of what everyone said into consideration in both my writing and editing. Klaud, I'll definitely keep you updated on that one! A, Thankies! Yes, I would love to talk to you about it all more in depth. Unfortunately, we haven't really had the time lately to have our usual conversations, and I miss them dearly. I will PST you next time i'm on and if you aren't busy, we can chat. <3 Alec Van-- How many people fit in this bunker? IS this gonna be like how many FPs can you fit in a one man bunker? I think this might go awry.
  3. Branham, Well, I'm very happy we are on the same page. Misunderstanding happen. Especially on a forum where people can not hear your tone of voice, etc. I'm glad we worked it out now. I do understand what you mean about people just writing things for the sake of writing them and not feeling the emotions to the extent they attemtpt to express. It makes it hard to believe other literary works. Sort of the "cry worlf" scenerio. And it is hard to get to know me or where I am going with the small sample I showed. The except I included about the self mutilation hasn't been edited yet. Do you have any thoughts on how i could revise? I think you have a true talent for expressing how a piece effects you as the reader. And I understnad the importance of not only catching the readers attention and keeping it, but making it understandable in both heart and mind. And I truly did like your ideas and critique. Perhaps I will post more of my work on here now knowing that so many of you are great editor and have such helpful advice. Thanks for your response branham. <3 Alec
  4. Klaud, Wow. That was awesome. Great job. I'm surprised you don't like poetry...you are very talented.
  5. Branham, My point about your response being a defense mechanism was simply that you easily dismissed the piece as "emo" in your response as, what appeared to me, as a way of avoiding the intensity of it. A lot of people use the term "emo" as a negative. I do not know you personally, so I can only go on the way I perceived your initial statement, as did everyone else. I tried to explain myself by stating that many people use the term "emo" when the mean to say that something is "too emotional" for them to handle or acknowledge. It is away of avoiding and ignoring that which we refuse to face. Now, perhaps that is not how you intended it, but that is how I took your post. I apologize for taking it wrong. To say that I had no logic or warrant to back up my original statement is wholly inaccurate. Because you did not understand my logic does not mean I had none. Perhaps instead of assuming that I had none you could ask how I reached such a claim since you did not see my direction. Your criticique was quite interesting btw, and I would love to respond to a few of your points. I see what you mean about using the term normal and in quotes. However, I was trying to convey with the quotes that there is no such thing as being normal and that I try to be what I perceive everyone else as and instead tear myself apart. It is an example of being over anyalytical and critical of the self and not those around you. Everyone else is "normal" so I am obviously not since I am not like them. If that makes any sense. Let me know because I think your point was very crucial. Your point about increasing the power by writing about actual points and events is obvious. If you read anything else on this post already, you would know that the two paracraphs I included were only a small piece of a much larger item. They are the intro to a book that will delve much deeper into the concepts brought up. It isn't the whole introduction since I stem off into the ideas of vicitim and survivor. I understand your point, and if those two paragraphs were the entirity of my writing then you would be correct in your statement. But, since there is so much more detail and many many more examples later on, your comment holds no ground. I love how you assume that the book fits into your two categories of "teen agnst writing" and "depressing books". You say that "alot of teens are slightly unhappy and suddenly write poems about cutting themselves expecting attention and adoration, where there will be someone who writes subtely about them doing it." Am I to take this comment as you assume I am a "teen" who seeks attention by creating a desire to self mutilate? Firstly, the point is that ANYONE can connect with the emotions. There are only so many emotions and we have all felt them. The question lies more in their intensity and duration. "Maybe its because I've had alot of exposure to the topic, but I personally feel that overall the self mutilation topic is trite and overused." ROFL How could someone slicing up their body with knives and razors be trite? It shows that their is obviously an issue there, and I think that by minimizing such an act to "common place" and therefore unimportant and lacking in creativity is completely and utterly ridiculous. And I do not believe I am wrong in perceiving your statement as such. Your words were, "over exposed", "trite", "over used", worn" and "bit reduntant". To say that you've read enough about suicide that it is trite and overdone is to be ignorant. I feel the same for the topic of self mutitlation. If you would like to be shown rather than told, here is a later except that goes more detailed into the subject. I pushed the razor into my thigh, my hand trembling from the pressure and the excitement. It’s amazing how such a violent act against myself can cause such an ease of pain. It’s the blood, I think. I watch the beads form a line across my skin, slowly filling into bubbles that dribble down my leg leaving a red trail behind them. It doesn’t hurt. It’s like a release of all the pressure inside me—the pain and anger…the tears I can’t shed. They drip down my leg, seeping out of my body. The thin cuts I create allow all the build up to escape so I don’t burst. It is my hand, my control—not his. Not theirs. The power is in my hands and that feeling is empowering. I leave refreshed. Funny how it works though; I’m so proud of the cuts, the blood and the pain in which I have created. They provide me with pleasure and it eases my suffering. But those cuts—they form scars: a never ending reminder of that pain I felt, of the height to which I took it. The scars are embarrassing. I hide them in shame, wearing long shorts or pants, always aware of the height of my skirt or dress. Ashamed of my pain, now embroidered on my body. Ashamed of myself for placing them there, for being so weak as to give into the immediate pleasure that pain provided. They are the physical ramifications of my past and present demons staring me down and reducing my confidence to a minuscule organism. They laugh at me. Each scar brings me back to a time, a place, a feeling, a memory. They are the manifestation of my inner scars. They are physical, undeniable proof of pain. What a double edged sword cutting turned out to be: my triumph and my failure, a sign that I gave in…and also a way out. I call myself a survivor? Ha! How do I know if I am a survivor or just a victim barely surviving? I feel like I’m hanging by a thread, my sanity teetering in the balance. Everyday I struggle to hold myself together. Some days the struggle is rather easy—I allow and produce many distractions from my unceasing mind. But certain days are absolutely horrid. I fight against myself all day—and sometimes I lose. I remember when I first started cutting myself, it was my senior year of high school. Just sitting here thinking about it and already I crave it. I think…I might go take a bath. I think I might give in again… __________________________________________________________ That is from a later chapter dedicated to self mutilation. Now, if you suffered a horrible event in your life that caused severe depression and isolation and never ending side-effects with both age and time, would you be so cavalier about the pain resulting from trauma? BTW, the story is based, party, off my personal experiences with physical and sexual abuse from my biological father. It is supposed to reach out to all sorts of pain, but focus more on the intensity of the emotions resulting from extremely traumatic events that threaten your life, body, or mind. And whether or not they can be overcome. Here is the example I use to explain what I mean and what I am seeking to uncover with the exlorations of the book: If you had your CDs in your locker at school and someone stole them, you'd be fuming pissed. You'd feel violated and unsafe, that your items were not protected. That someone, perhaps someone you knew, took them. You might cry, or punch a wall. But the pains would fade with time until you never think about it or care. However, if someone broke into your home and tied up you and your family and had you at gunpoint, threatening to take away your lives--it might take longer for the pains to go away. The anger, violation, and fear would resound in your life--perhaps--forever. The CD's being stolen will leave your mind with time, but will the other event? I hope that explains more of where the book is going, and therefore helps you to understand that these two paragraphs are leading up to more.
  6. Wow este. That was incredibly original! Makes it very mysterious and makes me want to read more. Nice job!
  7. But of course Klaud. Every "story" has it's upsides as well as it's downs. But, the main point of the story isn't really me. I'm simply the medium that is used to decipher the main question. It is about trying to reach the point where the past does not influence the present in such destructive ways, how it can be reached and if it is even possible. It is the struggle to reach what seems like the impossible.
  8. I think Este was commenting more on the use of the word "emo" than the word itself. The "0_0 so emo" comment seems like a serious defense mechanism. It is easier to dismiss something painful than face it. And the post seemed to dismiss the excerpt as "too emotional" which is basically what "emo" means when used as a negative. And yes, it is too emotional if you aren't in touch with yourself. The first person narrative isn't a gimic. I am who I speak of. The point of the book is to grow with my concept, to truly explore all the areas I have been effected in my life, the hard-core emotions to the slightest awareness of them. The truth is emotional. For any body. It's just not always easy to feel, talk about, or acknowledge. Klaudia, I love your comment that the "main character acts a ot tougher than he/she really is". I am the main character that you speak of, so I found it quite humerous. While writing I was delving into emotions that are so overwhelming, I suppose I did more speak of them than feel them. But I try to convey that while I act tough in life--because I feel it is necessary to function--inside I struggle. And I think we all do, perhaps not on the same levels. But everyone struggles with their thoughts and emotions, regrets, fears, and desires. The piece I posted is a very small portion of a begging chapter. I am solely introducing myself as what I feel I am: A broken child, become adult, struggling to handle it all. And that I question myself, in all aspects, but mainly, Can I ever over-come the effects of their abuse? Will they control me at times of vulnerability and fear as they do now? Can I ever be a survivor in the sense that the events of my childhood have no effect on me, is that possible? That is the main point of the book. Delving into the different ways I am daily effected, what caused them, and if I can over come them. The interviews with other people are about their experiences and perspective of themselves in the same way. And the psychologists on the professional level. I guess I didn't explain that well enough in the intro to my post.
  9. Hi hi Prime!!! What lvls are you alts at? I have a 24 (almost 25) Rogue alt named Summomo. (She's a gnome). BTW, we so need to play find naked Prime, cuz every time I go to IF I miss you!!!!!!! ::hugs:: Nice to hear from you though. Hope all is well
  10. For over a year now I have been working on a book. It is about the ideas of being a suvivor versus a victim, and whether it is even possible to become a survivor. My question stems from trauma, and whether someone can every truly over-come the after effects of extreme situations. It has alot of my personal history in it, as well as interviews with professionsals and people. It is far from finished since it is emotionally exhausting to write. That and since I've gotten sick I haven't really been up to it. I hope to get published some day, but that won't be for many years. Anyway, it isn't easy to digest and this is only a very small piece. I am not ready to post much of it yet. So please, if you aren't up to reading it, don't. Here it is: _____________________________________________________________ I am a broken child, hallow and bruised. My innocence lost at birth, my youth a sham, a void of loneliness and emptiness. My childhood is filled with memories like nightmares creating an unceasing anger that threatens to destroy me from the inside out. I am one of many with a past few recognize. I am an adult, struggling daily to keep it all together, to stay sane, logical and functional. My head tears me apart in a thousand conflicting directions and yet I pose with a plastic smile pretending to the world that I am “normal”. Ha! As if I could ever be. I’m drowning in my thoughts as I twist and turn creating worlds within worlds of self hate, shame and guilt. I take things and manipulate them to create a world that proves what I think of myself. Everything that happens is just proof, support, undeniable evidence of the truths that I know and everyone around me denies. I torture myself day in and day out, lying awake throughout the night letting my mind wonder from one thought into the next, from one fear that eventually leads into the paranoia that engulfs me. Sometimes I wonder if I am insane. I sit alone in the tub, cigarette dangling in my mouth, and a razor blade beside me. I think back of all the times that I’ve watched the blood drip down my leg, embracing the pain and the sight. The years of loneliness and pain I was consumed by—they haunt me on days where I feel that emptiness and distance from my own body.
  11. A, Excellent story! If that is just a small sample of your book, then I can tell it will most certainly be a success! Can't wait til it comes out! <3 Alec
  12. Jason, That was very sweet and well written. Nice job! Alec
  13. OMG LUC!!! I watched the Blue Seed w/ Kaeoun and it was awesome. But you did a CHOBITS one!!! OMFG!! It was awesome! (My rogue alt is Summomo!!!) Awesome job! Lemme know if you do more! Loved it. Alec
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